


Hiraeth

by lvechu



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:14:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27560587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lvechu/pseuds/lvechu
Summary: taeyong was always away from you whether he was home or not, and it was damaging you in an irreversible way. No matter how hard you both tried, it would never be the same.
Relationships: Lee Taeyong/Reader
Kudos: 7





	Hiraeth

It was hard watching your relationship fall into pieces more and more every day, and it was even worse when there was nothing you could do about it.

You met Lee Taeyong in high school, you were the usual best friends to lovers but it quickly became more complicated than that when Taeyong managed to get into the biggest entertainment company in the whole country. You knew he was nothing short of a musical prodigy, but this was completely unexpected to you both. At first, you understood his absence, You knew he was excited to be a trainee and he wanted to be the best; you knew it better than anyone at that. Yet once fame was brought into the already messy equation that was now your love life, it all went straight to hell.

Day by day you were growing tired of the selfish bastard that was your boyfriend. it was hard for you to even answer his calls- that is when he would actually call you. Of course, you were proud of him. It’s hard to reach such a level of success and achievement as he has in such a short amount of time, but you were supposed to be the one he loved. If this was love, you didn’t want it anymore that’s for sure. You were tired of waking up to an empty bed beside yourself, you were tired of being in his shadows, tired of being hidden, tired of him.

You missed the way it used to be when you first fell in love, how he’d hold you and sing to you every night, and treat you like the world truly did revolve around you. These days it felt as if it was just getting to be too much, his absence was a complete hindrance, and you were tired of waking up every morning knowing you’re staying this loyal to someone who can’t even manage to message you a simple ‘I love you’ or even just text a quick hello just to make it seem as if you were forgotten entirely out of his mind. There were many times where you wanted to talk to Taeyong about everything on your plate just to try and get a little peace of mind and know he didn’t forget about you, and maybe hear he’s still in love, but then you’d just add to his plate and you didn’t want to risk the few calls he’d give you here and there because he didn’t want the extra stress. However as the days go by, you’re starting to care less and less about what he’s feeling and more about what you’re feeling.

Eventually, you’d managed to muster up the courage to call him for once, even though he told you to just wait for his calls since you don’t know his schedule which you knew was a lie. That brings you to where you are now, holding your phone to your ear and listening to the ringing while you anticipate hearing what was once your favorite sound yet is now your least.

“Hello? Why would you call me right now, I’m in the middle of practice.” You took a deep breath listening to him speak for the first time in a week, and of course, the first thing he’d say would be a complaint about you calling him. On top of that, he was clearly lying about where he was. You didn’t know much about idols, but you had enough common sense to know they don’t practice in clubs. “You’re at practice? When you did you start practicing to club music and have a crowd there watching?” You didn’t even wait to call him out on his bluff, you had no filter with him anymore. You listened to him move to an area that was quiet and by the way, he was so silent, you could tell he was surprised by your less than loving tone.

It was hard watching your relationship fall into pieces more and more every day, and it was even worse when there was nothing you could do about it.

You met Lee Taeyong in high school, you were the usual best friends to lovers but it quickly became more complicated than that when Taeyong managed to get into the biggest entertainment company in the whole country. You knew he was nothing short of a musical prodigy, but this was completely unexpected to you both. At first, you understood his absence, You knew he was excited to be a trainee and he wanted to be the best; you knew it better than anyone at that. Yet once fame was brought into the already messy equation that was now your love life, it all went straight to hell.

Day by day you were growing tired of the selfish bastard that was your boyfriend. it was hard for you to even answer his calls- that is when he would actually call you. Of course, you were proud of him. It’s hard to reach such a level of success and achievement as he has in such a short amount of time, but you were supposed to be the one he loved. If this was love, you didn’t want it anymore that’s for sure. You were tired of waking up to an empty bed beside yourself, you were tired of being in his shadows, tired of being hidden, tired of him.

You missed the way it used to be when you first fell in love, how he’d hold you and sing to you every night, and treat you like the world truly did revolve around you. These days it felt as if it was just getting to be too much, his absence was a complete hindrance, and you were tired of waking up every morning knowing you’re staying this loyal to someone who can’t even manage to message you a simple ‘I love you’ or even just text a quick hello just to make it seem as if you were forgotten entirely out of his mind. There were many times where you wanted to talk to Taeyong about everything on your plate just to try and get a little peace of mind and know he didn’t forget about you, and maybe hear he’s still in love, but then you’d just add to his plate and you didn’t want to risk the few calls he’d give you here and there because he didn’t want the extra stress. However as the days go by, you’re starting to care less and less about what he’s feeling and more about what you’re feeling.

Eventually, you’d managed to muster up the courage to call him for once, even though he told you to just wait for his calls since you don’t know his schedule which you knew was a lie. That brings you to where you are now, holding your phone to your ear and listening to the ringing while you anticipate hearing what was once your favorite sound yet is now your least.

“Hello? Why would you call me right now, I’m in the middle of practice.” You took a deep breath listening to him speak for the first time in a week, and of course, the first thing he’d say would be a complaint about you calling him. On top of that, he was clearly lying about where he was. You didn’t know much about idols, but you had enough common sense to know they don’t practice in clubs. “You’re at practice? When you did you start practicing to club music and have a crowd there watching?” You didn’t even wait to call him out on his bluff, you had no filter with him anymore. You listened to him move to an area that was quiet and by the way he was so silent, you could tell he was surprised by your less than loving tone calling him out.

“Taeyong, this... This isn’t working anymore.” You let it off your chest with ease, knowing you couldn’t sugarcoat this anymore. “You and me, we aren’t working anymore. I didn’t come into this relationship just to be alone.” You listened to the complete silence from the other line, and that was more painful than anything. “How can you not say anything? H-How could you not tell me I’m wrong? Don’t you love me at all?” You felt the tears starting to wet your cheeks and you mentally kicked yourself over and over for wasting your emotion on someone who doesn’t even care. “You know what? I was hoping my mind would change when I talk to you b-” You cut yourself off when you heard a girl’s voice over the line, speaking to Taeyong and saying such words only you should be allowed to say to him. You waited for him to tell her off or make her go away but it never came. Yet again, there was only more silence from him. You ended the call, throwing your phone back on your bed before letting the tears out freely. Taeyong moved on, he was already living out the plans he’d made for his life and you were not apart of this plan.

The next few days were hell for you. You didn’t leave the house, eat, shower, and you only left the bed when nature called. You spent your time awake either crying or reminiscing over the good times with him, but mostly you were just sleeping; at least Taeyong loved you in your dreams. What hurts the most was how he hadn’t even once reached out to you to talk or see if you were okay. There was nothing from him.

You were sleeping when you suddenly felt a weight on your stomach which scared the shit out of you. You were quick to push whatever it was away, panic filling you as you made out the outline of a body. You were getting ready to attack, but that feeling instantly washed away when you heard the familiar cries. They were muffled, but you knew exactly who it was. “Tae?” you whispered, reaching over to the lamp on your nightstand. Nothing could’ve prepared you for this, seeing the dark bags under the tired eyes, and the unusually pale skin. You couldn’t help but tense up as you felt his arms around you for the first time is months, it just felt foreign.

“Don’t leave me,” Taeyong whispered, a choked sob following the pitiful words. You wanted to say it was okay and wipe the tears away and just be in love, but it was going to take some time. Before you could respond, he’d already beat you to it. “I’m taking a break from the tour, I’m going to make this up to you baby I swear I will.” You could hear the desperation in his voice and it made your heartache. Perhaps you were too naive still, as you found yourself agreeing to his words. How could he be given a second chance so easily? You didn’t even know the answer to that.

You gently pushed him back on the bed, wrapping yourself up in his arms and waiting for the pain to trickle away but it never did. When you woke up and saw him instead of his pillow, you only felt the same misery you had before, the only difference was now you were sharing it with someone- the one who caused it all in the first place. “Tae, why does it still hurt so bad?” You whispered to the male who you’d thought was unconscious but answered you instead. “Please just give it some time. I can’t heal you in one night as much as I wish I could.” He whispered back, holding you a little tighter- a little closer.

You agreed to go on a date with him during the day, and during the whole date, you just found yourself feeling suffocated. Even when you got home and thought maybe you were just feeling off, there was another part saying you just weren’t in love. Even when you and his limbs were a tangled mess in the sheets, and you felt his skin against yours one more time, you felt him as close as you could one more, that feeling never went away. It was like you were nostalgic, but you just couldn’t remember what for anymore. Even when you felt this way, you couldn’t let go of Taeyong. More-so you couldn’t snap out of whatever trance he had you in. You wanted to leave him so bad but he wouldn’t let you, you wouldn’t let yourself for the matter.

Once he went back to join the tour, you found yourself empty and alone once again, but you knew this was just how your life would be from now on. No matter what you did, you couldn’t go back to how you used to feel about him, but you couldn’t stop loving him either. You were stuck in this cycle of love for him, he had you wrapped right around his pinky, exactly where he wanted you. His forever.


End file.
